San Francisco 49er’s quarterback Colin Kaepernick is having the worst week (season?) ever. I won’t run down his stats but let’s just say that since week one, nurse no rx the number of interceptions he’s thrown is akin to the number of bottles of wine I’ve drank in the same time span. And I spent ten days in Italy. Yikes. Then stories came out about him not caring about mechanics. Oy.
Well after weeks of him sucking the life out of Niners fans everywhere, case they finally benched him. And that’s not even the most embarrassing part. Their backup? Blaine Gabbert. There’s really only one stat you need to know about him, pilule and that would be his record as a starter: 5-22.
I think my favorite part about this story is that the 49er’s front office is framing this not as a true benching, but as a “mental break” for Kaepernick. What the FRONT DOOR is that?! What’s the fix for this, a spa day? Are you going to check him into Promises citing “stress and exhaustion”? “No, no, we aren’t firing you! We’re giving you a mental break from the duties we hired you to perform that you can’t perform well enough to be successful” said no boss ever.
But guys – there’s more. The streets are talking, and they’re saying that the front office waited until this week to bench (or whatever?) him because they are playing the Atlanta Falcons on Sunday. Why is this relevant? Well because according to the Niners, the Falcons’ defense is weak and I guess they wanted to give Blaine the best chance to succeed which…five and twenty-two you guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How did the Falcons feel about this comment?
A MESS. All that’s missing is Kirk Cousins‘ screaming YOU LIKE THAT?! in the background because I am more than entertained. These Niners get the “better than cable” award.
Alright, here are your Chicago sports in 25 words, more or less. I had to change that from “25 words or less” because I got a little long-winded this week.
By all accounts, they don’t suck nearly as much as their record indicates (if there were any GREAT two-win teams, these 2015 Bears top that list amiright?!). I’m excited for next year – that’s right, I’ve officially checked out.
They gave up 130 points to the Hornets last night. The been-around-since-1988-and-have-won-zero-championships-conference-or-division-titles Hornets. The perpetually-in-the-lottery Hornets.
RIP Bulls’ Defense, 2010-2015.
Headline, verbatim: Woman who accused Patrick Kane of rape no longer cooperating with investigation. ?