I’ve written – and deleted – something like 800 words for this column this week. When I think I’m onto something that’s at least decent and workable, ailment nope. Complete garbage. Or a stretch. Or just plain dumb. So here we are, store eight hours of frustration later, and I had to come up with something.
And look, I know that there is so much great material out there. Yes, an Orlando, Florida bar is so desperate for patrons during UCF football games that they are giving away beer when they play. I did indeed see that Jordan Spieth’s caddy made $2.1 million this season. His freaking CADDY. I also
But I just wasn’t inspired by any of it. Maybe I’ve got post-vacation cobwebs in my brain. Or I’m a little bit on edge by the fact that there is a four-legged creature hiding in my apartment somewhere and no we do NOT have pets. However, I get paid the big bucks here at Sports Divas and the show must go on. So here a few things I thought that are (somewhat…loosely…barely?) sports-related. Before we get to that, let’s talk about booze.
I’m what my boyfriend likes to call a “wine enthusiast.” I prefer red to white. I own tools to transform the taste. I’m extremely particular about my glasses. And I even double aerate my wine before consumption. Yes – when I commit to something, I give it 110%. Not dissimilar to elite athletes; I’d like to think of myself as the Ronda Rousey of vino rossi.
After spending the past two weeks drinking (and eating) my way through Italy, I feel a deeper appreciation for wine. I have specific glasses I want to purchase now that I’ve gone to a wine tasting at a vineyard in Tuscany (side note: that may be the yuppiest and douchiest thing I’ve ever written in my entire life). I’m turning more into a Merlot person than a Cabernet one because of all of the delicious Sangioveses recommended to me by Italian sommeliers (side note: and I just outdid myself). And I care a lot more about the ingredients I’m cooking with because I know exactly how well really delicious food can pair magnificently with great glass of double-aerated goodness.
That’s right folks; I get ONE passport stamp and came back cultured AF (are the kids still saying this?).
Alright. Enough procrastination. Here’s why I thought in 25 words or less about some sports stuff that happened over the past week.
Jay Cutler got injured in their 92-point loss to Seattle before trading away half the defense and now we’re supposed to believe in some dude whose last name reads as “fails.” This is so fun.
Derrick Rose broke his face moments after talking about his impending free agency (two years away…) while admitting to consensual group sex with the woman accusing him of rape.
The Cubs made the post season – possibly because TD Ameritrade don’t raise no fools – but will still lose because they’re the Cubs lol
Chicago White Sox
I saw one Sox game in June where they were down by six runs in the first inning to the Pirates so you can go ahead and check on the yourself.
I’ll let my tweet from Monday do the talking.
— Sharon Steed (@sharonsteed) September 28, 2015
The Whip and the Nae Nae
It’s over. Please stop.