Sports roundup: what’s happening in Chicago sports this week in 25 words or less

I’ve written – and deleted – something like 800 words for this column this week. When I think I’m onto something that’s at least decent and workable, ailment nope. Complete garbage. Or a stretch. Or just plain dumb. So here we are, store eight hours of frustration later, and I had to come up with something.

And look, I know that there is so much great material out there. Yes, an Orlando, Florida bar is so desperate for patrons during UCF football games that they are giving away beer when they play. I did indeed see that Jordan Spieth’s caddy made $2.1 million this season. His freaking CADDY. I also

I love the internet. Image credit: Just Rivals

saw that several NBA players entered training camp debuting new stupid hairstyles. Platinum blonde, I get. But a perm? Really? And we all know how I feel about the high-top fade.

But I just wasn’t inspired by any of it. Maybe I’ve got post-vacation cobwebs in my brain. Or I’m a little bit on edge by the fact that there is a four-legged creature hiding in my apartment somewhere and no we do NOT have pets. However, I get paid the big bucks here at Sports Divas and the show must go on. So here a few things I thought that are (somewhat…loosely…barely?) sports-related. Before we get to that, let’s talk about booze.

I’m what my boyfriend likes to call a “wine enthusiast.” I prefer red to white. I own tools to transform the taste. I’m extremely particular about my glasses. And I even double aerate my wine before consumption. Yes – when I commit to something, I give it 110%. Not dissimilar to elite athletes; I’d like to think of myself as the Ronda Rousey of vino rossi.

After spending the past two weeks drinking (and eating) my way through Italy, I feel a deeper appreciation for wine. I have specific glasses I want to purchase now that I’ve gone to a wine tasting at a vineyard in Tuscany (side note: that may be the yuppiest and douchiest thing I’ve ever written in my entire life). I’m turning more into a Merlot person than a Cabernet one because of all of the delicious Sangioveses recommended to me by Italian sommeliers (side note: and I just outdid myself). And I care a lot more about the ingredients I’m cooking with because I know exactly how well really delicious food can pair magnificently with great glass of double-aerated goodness.

That’s right folks; I get ONE passport stamp and came back cultured AF (are the kids still saying this?).

Alright. Enough procrastination. Here’s why I thought in 25 words or less about some sports stuff that happened over the past week.

Chicago Bears

Jay Cutler got injured in their 92-point loss to Seattle before trading away half the defense and now we’re supposed to believe in some dude whose last name reads as “fails.” This is so fun.

Chicago Bulls

Derrick Rose broke his face moments after talking about his impending free agency (two years away…) while admitting to consensual group sex with the woman accusing him of rape.

Hm.

Next topic.

Chicago Cubs

The Cubs made the post season – possibly because TD Ameritrade don’t raise no fools – but will still lose because they’re the Cubs lol

Chicago White Sox

I saw one Sox game in June where they were down by six runs in the first inning to the Pirates so you can go ahead and check on the yourself.

 

Pittsburgh Steelers

I’ll let my tweet from Monday do the talking.

The Whip and the Nae Nae

It’s over. Please stop.

 

About the author: Sharon Steed. Weekly Sports Recap Correspondent. Sharon is a Twitter-obsessed sports junkie covering all of the crazy things that happen sports for SDI. A Chicago-area native, her earliest sports memories are watching Michael Jordan and her beloved Bulls wreak havoc on the NBA in the 90’s. She loves March Madness, hates the Packers, and will absolutely shed real tears if the Bears ever win the Super Bowl. When she’s not hanging out on Twitter, she spends her time working as a freelance web writer and content manager for small businesses.  You can follower her on Twitter @sharonsteed.

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