Stupid Sports: College basketball edition with a sprinkling of NBA gems

Photo credit: CBS New York

So…as I watched one of my championship teams lose on the early afternoon of the first day, drugstore I had a minor emotional breakdown. I had to put my phone down because I was afraid it would go flying through a window. I considered crying…mostly because it was too early to drink wine alone at home. Then, search I emailed SDI founder Monica and asked her if I could write an entire post about how I had very angry feelings towards pretty much everybody in the entire universe because I bet cash money on the reliability of teenagers.

After I calmed down – I literally had to take the entirety of Saturday off – I settled back in on Sunday afternoon to catch a few snippets of the games before my friend’s birthday party (Happy 30th Shanda!). And then, Kansas happened. I didn’t realize I could have such anger towards so many different entities until I watched Kansas lose to Stanford.

Stanford beats Kansas; results in me in fetal position

I mean come on. WTF is happening with this shit. Photo credit:

Though not nearly as bad as watching Mercer straight up OWN Duke (and pretty much ruin my chances of winning my bracket pool), watching Kansas lose to Stanford made me want to set my house on fire. My mom tried to comfort me by saying it was only the second quarter….to which I responded – apparently with daggers in my eyes – “It’s played in halves.” I’m incredibly level-headed, by the way. It’s like they have absolutely no respect for the fact that I bet on them every year.

It’s just that I bet on them every year. Every. Single. Year. And they bow out on the first weekend. Rude much? So Stanford and their idiotic tree mascot is in the Sweet 16 – which, by the way, as the game was progressing I was having some very, disturbingly angry feelings towards that tree. And who does Stanford play? Yet another Cinderella in Dayton.

Dayton’s president crowd surfs in celebration; I wonder why I do this to myself every year

You know who I had in this game? Kansas and Ohio State. Dayton’s president was so excited that he crowd-surfed with the students. You know what my president did when we got to the Final Four? I’m not sure because our board was too busy trying to get rid of him for being shady. Ah, Illinois; where all the crooked ex-mobsters go. But anyway, good for them. Bad for my bank account. But let’s get down to business…

Let’s talk about my bracket

my bracket

Courtesy: My dignity

I know what you’re thinking, that I’m done betting on this garbage. I mean, college basketball is so stupid. All they do is dribble the ball for 33 seconds then jack up an ill-advised three. There’s no plays. Rarely in coaching – with the exception of geniuses like Michigan State’s Tom Izzo and Duke’s Coach K. It’s just who’s more talented and luckier. Ugh. I’m never betting on this again.

Hey, the NBA is still happening! 

Phil Jackson watches the Knicks lose to the sorry Lakers with World Peace and leaves early to walk his dog. Photo credit: Black Sports Online

We’re inching closing to the playoffs which means that I have more of a reason to, like, care. But not yet. It’s way too soon to start thinking about playoff scenarios or potential matchups. Mostly because I’m not all that interested. The Bulls are apparently in it. Awesome. What I want to talk about, though, are some other teams. Let’s start with the Knicks. They hired Phil Jackson (whoa) who was so impressed with his former team (who also happens to be his fiance’s team) the Lakers that he left early to walk his dog.

Swaggy P and his awful hair. Photo credit: Yahoo Sports

Speaking of the Lakers, some person named Swaggy P who also has a high-top fade/Mohawk thing (that’s two strikes) celebrated a three point shot attempt without first making sure it went in the basket.

It didn’t. I love stupid people.


About the author: Sharon Steed. Weekly Sports Recap Correspondent. Sharon is a Twitter-obsessed sports junkie covering all of the crazy things that happen sports for SDI. A Chicago-area native, her earliest sports memories are watching Michael Jordan and her beloved Bulls wreak havoc on the NBA in the 90’s. She loves March Madness, hates the Packers, and will absolutely shed real tears if the Bears ever win the Super Bowl. When she’s not hanging out on Twitter, she spends her time working as a freelance web writer and content manager for small businesses.  You can follower her on Twitter @sharonsteed.

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