Stupid Sports with Sharon: Sochi Sucks, Lion King and Another Reason to Love Marshawn Lynch

The Olympics began last night with some events I don’t really care about. I’d tell you what they were, no rx but that would require like researching. Blah. But I did find some gems for you this week that include the sketchy media accommodations in Sochi, levitra the best real names you’ve ever heard from Signing Day, and an athlete who will go the extra distance off the field…for booze. Let’s get started.

Every Non-Russian in Sochi Hates Sochi

Sochi gave the media a teddy bear that looks like it might murder you in your sleep. How thoughtful. Photo credit: Twitter

We all know that the Olympics are happening, with opening ceremony happening tonight on NBC. Yeah there’s been a lot of backlash about how Russia feels about gays, how awful the accomodations are and that one of the snowboarding courses may or may not kill you. But I’m guessing you haven’t heard about the media “swag bags” that, well, contain no swag.

Toronto Star columnist Cathal Kelly took to Twitter to show off Russia’s gift to him and the rest of the media.

It was pathetic.

Accommodations in Sochi are suspect. Photo credit: WN.com

Included are Sochi 2014 souvenir postcards, a passport holder, a suspicious looking pen, an eye shade that kind of resembles the gay pride flag (??), an ethernet chord, and a teddy bear. Yes. A teddy bear. And it’s kinda creepy looking.

National Signing Day Names You’ll Never Forget

February 5th was National Signing Day for all high school football players. And the best part about it – other than seeing if your favorite team got the best players (I went to Illinois. Enough said.) – are the names. I personally love creative (ahem…outrageous?) names so much that my friends and I have come up with extra names for ourselves. For instance, my friend Shanda occasionally goes by Appreciante` but she’s considering retiring that one

Lion King Conway. No really, that’s a name. Photo credit: Lost Lettermen

for Merleaux (pronounced Merlot). Why do we do this? Because we can.

And that brings us to Key and Peele. Remember their sketch when they brought together the best “college athletes” for the East/West College Bowl Game? All they showed were the starting lineups with the most ridiculous sounding names imaginable. It’s got almost 10 million views, and it’s a must-watch. Well, Jordan Peele went through the list of all the signees on February 5th and tweeted the best names along with their position and where they were going. The names were so good that he said there would be no more East West Bowl.

Tory Holt Gives You the Finger

Playing in the NFL is tough. You get hit all the time. You have to wear white spandex pants on national television. And some of those child support payments can really write a brotha out. But there are benefits, like this awesome photo of former pro Tory Holt giving you the finger…and it’s crooked.

Buffalo News NFL writer tweeted a photo of Tory Holt that is both gruesome and awesome. Since the photo may be offensive to some, I will just link to it here. Enjoy.

I Want to Hang out with Marshawn Lynch

Yes, the guy that wore a hat, hood and sunglasses INSIDE and refused to speak to the media. And no, I probably won’t have another Marshawn story until like August when the NFL starts up again. But this was too good to leave out. During the Seahawks Super Bowl Championship parade, Lynch risked his life to grab a fans bottle of Fireball whiskey.

Look, I’ve done some crazy things for some wine like driving to the store on black ice during the worst of the Polar Vortex. But potentially falling off a moving vehicle for Fireball? And is it even legal to drink outdoors on a float during a parade in Seattle? So many questions, so little answers. But yeah I wanna hang with Marshawn.

About the author: Sharon Steed. Weekly Sports Recap Correspondent. Sharon is a Twitter-obsessed sports junkie covering all of the crazy things that happen sports for SDI. A Chicago-area native, her earliest sports memories are watching Michael Jordan and her beloved Bulls wreak havoc on the NBA in the 90’s. She loves March Madness, hates the Packers, and will absolutely shed real tears if the Bears ever win the Super Bowl. When she’s not hanging out on Twitter, she spends her time working as a freelance web writer and content manager for small businesses.  You can follower her on Twitter @sharonsteed.

Comments on this entry are closed.

back to top