Stupid Sports with Sharon: SBXLVIII Parking, Media Day & Tats of Endearment

No caption needed.

As a college sports writer for this site, pilule I’ve spent countless hours (ok…minutes) strolling through my twitter feed trying to find interesting tidbits about the teams I cover. And, there as the very unlucky one who drew the short straw (B1G Legends? Really?), “interesting” turned into “anything I can find that doesn’t suck.” As a result, I’ve stumbled upon some gems; unfortunately, none of them had anything to do with top 25 college basketball or B1G football.

That’s why I thought it would be great to dedicate a column just to the stupidity of sports and some of the sports fans. Thus, Stupid Sports with me – Sharon. Each week, I’ll scour the internet to find whatever I can most effectively make fun of. And what better week to kick things off than the epitome of all-things asinine than Super Bowl week.

Parking at MetLife Stadium

If you hadn’t heard, the Super Bowl is in New Jersey this year and – besides from the weather being a crap shoot – the NFL has decided to make parking as much of a pain in the ass as the Polar Vortex. Here are the rules: no cabs, no limos, and no walking to the stadium. I’m assuming you can’t go cart, back-flip or parachute in either, but they didn’t mention those.  

You can, however, take a shuttle bus from a transit stop in a city in Jersey that I’ve never heard of or you can hand over the NFL $51 more dollars (assuming you bought a ticket, will buy food, beer, long johns, etc.) for the NFL-approved shuttle system. It’s basically like going through TSA except easier.

Stupid.

Super Bowl Media Day

As a writer, I pride myself in being able to string words together in a somewhat coherent and hopefully witty way. With that said. Super Bowl Media Day is a cluster F, so I’ll just let the pictures do the talking.

Some guy dressed as Mozart interviewing some guy dressed as Seattle Seahawks DE Bruce Irvin. I’m sure they’re talking about how much less badass Bach was and how “Amadeus” was, like, so NOT the whole story. Photo credit: Sporting News

 

Trash talk in 2014. Why you gotta hate on a weave, homey? Photo credit: CBSSports.com

And here’s a few tweets to give you the total feel of the idiocy of the day…

…and…

…but I save the best for last.

So here’s the deal. Running back Marshawn Lynch doesn’t really like talking to the media for whatever reason. Earlier in the season, he was fined $50K for not speaking to the media at all this past season. So for the biggest media day of them all, he made an appearance with sunglasses on and hood covering his hatted head INDOORS…and naturally said nothing. He is my hero.

The best of the dumbest Super Bowl prop bets

Apparently the Red Hot Chilly Peppers are performing in some form during this year’s game broadcast (who knew?) and it’s 20/1 that they will change their name to just “Chilly Peppers” because of the weather. My reaction to that: …….

You just can’t rock a hat over that. It’s too much hassle. See: my profile picture.

Another interesting prop bet is the kind of hat Bruno Mars will be wearing: fedora (4/6), beanie (10/3), fur hat (7/1) or nothing (9/2). I say nothing, but that’s because I, too, have curly hair and know the struggle when it comes to add a hat to the equation (especially since he’s wearing his hair in a big curly fro these days.

Fans are stupid

Look, I’m the biggest Bears fan imaginable. I can’t even count how many times I’ve silently watched the Bears game alone in the basement of my parents’ house and screamed (screamed!!) at the television out of nowhere. It’s amazing they think I’m the normal one. But there’s another level of fandom that I just don’t get.

For instance, this guy. He tattooed Seattle Seahawks Super Bowl XLVIII before they even played the NFC Championship. And Broncos fans? Y’all aren’t getting off easy. I’ll just wrap things up with this:

I can’t.

About the author: Sharon Steed. Weekly Sports Recap Correspondent. Sharon is a Twitter-obsessed sports junkie covering all of the crazy things that happen sports for SDI. A Chicago-area native, her earliest sports memories are watching Michael Jordan and her beloved Bulls wreak havoc on the NBA in the 90’s. She loves March Madness, hates the Packers, and will absolutely shed real tears if the Bears ever win the Super Bowl. When she’s not hanging out on Twitter, she spends her time working as a freelance web writer and content manager for small businesses.  You can follower her on Twitter @sharonsteed.

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